


Lucian Horror Picture Show

by BarefootBassist



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Chocobros in Drag, Fluff, Gen, My First Fanfic, Rocky Horror Picture Show - Freeform, Stuff that pops in my head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 13:45:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11232231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarefootBassist/pseuds/BarefootBassist
Summary: The author Besin on here commissioned some gorgeous artwork of the chocobros in lingerie (which I can't find now, naturally), and this is the first thing that popped into my head when I saw it. I hope you enjoy my one-shot fluffiness.BTW, I make no claims of ownership to any characters in this story.





	Lucian Horror Picture Show

“Noct! NOOOOCT!” the bubbly blond sang out. “I got us tickets to see Rocky Horror this Friday! I’ve heard they have the BEST live cast! Dress up and go with me? PLEEEEASE???”

Noct sighed inwardly. He could just imagine the headlines Saturday morning about the Crown Prince being spotted around town in drag, but money was hard for Prompto to come by, and he couldn’t let his friend down. “I have to clear it with Ignis and Gladio, but I’m down.”

“You’re the best, buddy! I have just the costumes for us too!”

***

“Well, Gladio and myself will be busy this Friday night, Noct, but since this is obviously so important to Prompto, I will make arrangements for the Kingsglaive to escort you. Just do manage to stay out of trouble.”

***

The big day. Prompto has found garters, fishnets, and corsets that they can wear, and has enlisted Iris to liberally apply their makeup. Noctis doesn’t even want to know where Prompto acquired all this from, and it would break his friend’s heart if he were to pull out now, so he just groans and bears it. 

***

When they get to the theater, Noctis is amazed by how many people are lined up and in costume. Why, no one recognizes him at all! Noctis starts to relax and smile at the antics of the blond next to him. “I got everything we need! Spray bottles of water, rice, newspapers, toilet paper… this is gonna be so great, Noct! I am so glad you came with me! I wish Iggy and Gladio could be here, though…”

Noctis glanced around at their “escort”, holding his laughter as, to avoid alerting the public to Noctis’ presence, the glaives were outfitted like the partygoers; in a wild arrangement of corsets, tuxedos, and fishnets. Although that one called Nyx looked like an old pro, with his makeup and corset looking _just so_. He idly wondered if Nyx was naturally hairless or if he had shaved his legs before he put on fishnets.

***

In the theater, there was an air of hushed excitement. People were whispering back and forth about how the live cast tonight had the best Frank N. Furter and absolutely the BEEFIEST Rocky in the history of Rocky Horror itself. The house lights dimmed, the audience grew (comparatively) quiet, and an emcee came out to welcome them all. He asked if this was anyone’s first time at the show, and Prompto kept Noct from raising his hand with the handful of others in the audience. “Dude! You’re trying not to bring attention to yourself – this is a sure-fire way to get ALL the attention.” Noct was puzzled for a moment until the emcee shouted, “VIRGIN ALERT! Ok, keep those hands up!” 

The “virgins” were rounded up to the stage, where the cast members circled around them holding hands, chanting “Ring around the virgin! Ring around the virgin! All fall DOWN!” and dropped to the floor. Noct was thankful for his narrow escape. Images of “THE VIRGIN PRINCE” in bold typeface made him shudder.

*** 

The wedding scene displayed bright and surreal on the screen as the actors portraying one Janet Weiss (slut) and one Brad Majors (asshole) acted out the scene on the stage. Noct was a little puzzled why they were doing this in conjunction with the movie, but he thought it was nice. The caretaker looked a little familiar but Noct couldn’t place him, and he enjoyed the scene where Brad and Janet were in the woods in the rain with newspapers over their heads (he enjoyed the interactivity and fully delighting in spritzing water and having a newspaper on his head – being a royal does not often present opportunities to indulge in silliness). Beside him, he could hear Prompto singing along softly about there being a light over at the Frankenstein place.

Suddenly, Prompto jerked Noctis to his feet to participate in a dance called the Time Warp. It wasn’t that difficult, really – just a jump to the left and a step to the right, hands on hips, and WHAT? _PELVIC THRUST???_ Noct was silently thanking the Six that the theater was dark; he was sure his face was glowing like a beacon! Then he remembered that he and Prompto were surrounded by the Kingsglaive in drag and groaned.

Suddenly, activity onstage came to a standstill as a familiar-looking character entered, wearing a high-collared black robe. Noct and Prompto dropped slack-jawed into their seats, and looking at each other, mouthed “ _Ignis???_ ” The man onstage launched into a lip-sync of “Sweet Transvestite” and strutted around the stage, causing gasps and shrieks to spontaneously erupt as he threw off the robe and stood in all his made-up, corseted, high-heeled glory.

Noctis was flabbergasted. His prim and oh-so-proper advisor, the one who cared for him and nagged about eating vegetables – was a transvestite sensation? Ignis, strutting around in drag ON STAGE where anyone could potentially recognize him as the prince’s advisor? Granted, he was wearing a curly black wig and didn’t have his glasses on, and let’s be frank (no pun intended), but with THAT BODY on display no one was looking at his face.

The scene changed; Ignis-as-Frank was fiddling with knobs on a tank in correlation with the actors on screen; Noctis wasn’t sure by this point how surprised he was when Gladio, clad only in wrestling shoes, a long blonde wig, and a tiny gold lame bikini brief that left absolutely nothing to the imagination (but inspired fresh imaginings) emerged from the tank. He was truly impressive running around the stage lip-syncing “Sword of Damocles”. Noct was vaguely aware that his cheerful companion had fallen completely silent (while most of the ladies and some of the men in the audience were going wild over his shield in a bikini for Six’s sakes!), and Noct knew that if he were to look at Prompto right now, his face would be beet red and he would be gulping like a fish out of water. Hell, he probably looked the same way! 

Prompto and Noctis spent the rest of the show in sort of a fugue state. Noct briefly wondered if the glaives that accompanied him recognized the lean advisor and the burly shield; they seemed to be having a great time and participated in the interactive bits with the rest of the audience, throwing toilet paper rolls jubilantly at the “Great Scott!” scene. 

***

When the show let out, Noctis approached the glaive Nyx. “Um… I can’t help but wonder, you guys seemed really into the show and knew all the catchphrases and lines, and –" 

“Yes; we’ve seen it before,” said Nyx. “How could we not? I mean, two of our own are in the stage show! Didn’t you recognize Crowe and Libertus?”

“Wait, what?!”

“Yeah, Crowe joins in as often as her schedule allows; she was Magenta tonight but sometimes she will fill in for Columbia. Libertus is Eddie; it can get awkward when Crowe is Columbia though – more like siblings those two.”

Noct stutters a moment in a most un-princely fashion. “But, how, when… What about Ignis and Gladio? You knew about them too?”

“Oh, yeah” came the casual reply. “They are known locally as the best Frankie and Rocky in Insomnia; I know that there have been offers from the show in Lestallum for them to perform as part of that troupe, but like Crowe and Lib they try to keep a low profile and refuse offers. Hey, they can’t help being good at what they do, you know? And it isn’t like them to sandbag; they all like performing to the best of their abilities. All the king’s men - and women – have pride in a job well done, Prince Noctis. It doesn’t matter the job; they just do it well.”


End file.
